One more car on the freak train.
by Kyeli on February 3rd, 2009 @ 3:37 pm in
Health
Tags: raw food
Pace and I went raw on Sunday.
What does that even mean?
It means that we’ve stopped eating cooked and processed foods, and started eating lots of green things and multi-colored things that actually grow from the actual earth. Like sprouts. And carrots. And plants and leafy things and, um, ya know, other things like that. We’ll eat them plain, in smoothies and juices, in interesting mixes and blends, on a train and in the rain!
Wait. No more eating out? No more social eating?
We won’t eat out much anymore, which is actually a good thing given how much we spend in restaurants monthly. (We’ll probably still occasionally take our son out for pizza, though.) There are a couple of places in Austin that are raw-friendly, so we’ll go there when we need a night out, but in general, we won’t eat out.
As for social eating, that’s an interesting one for me. I’m really hung up on social graces and being proper and not rocking the boat… hold on. No, seriously. No I’m not! I rock the boat all the time! What was I thinking? Well, I don’t like to cause problems for people during special occasions, which is what I was thinking about.
For example, one of my dearest friends is getting married next week. I don’t want her to freak out about how to feed us at her long ceremony and after-party (commonly called a reception by those not currently brain-impaired). I also don’t want to explain to several hundred people why I’m eating food I brought with me, don’t want to deal with their reactions (lots of people feel threatened by bizarre diets and thus get angry, which I know from personal experience (keep reading)), don’t want to go several hours with nothing to eat when surrounded by food that I’m probably not over yet. Like cake. Oh gods.
And what do we do when we travel? It’s hard enough to feed us when we’re traveling vegans.
So yeah. I have fear and uncertainty and haven’t figured it all out yet. It’s like I’m human or something.
But in general, like on Game Nights, I can have snacks and little meals in portable containers and we can munch on our stuff while others munch on their stuff, and there’s no big deal. Social eating, for the win!
Seriously, why am I doing this?
Because I’m afraid.
Because when I looked at Angela’s site, I freaked out and got super-angry and incredulous and defensive – like she was threatening me just by existing. What is that about?
I’ll tell you.
I’ve been interested in going raw, or at least trying it, since I first heard about it on Steve Pavlina’s blog. I really like and admire Steve, (even if I currently only know him mostly through his blog), so it was good for me to read all this stuff from him. A trusted source, as it were. At first, it freaked me out. Then it tempted me. Then it annoyed me. Then it frustrated me. Then it boggled me. Then it pissed me right the fuck off, oh yes.
I read about Steve’s raw adventures for months, on and off. I had all those feelings, over and over. Then my darling friend Megan, who I love and respect close up and personal-like, started talking – excuse me, ranting and raving – about food and what we eat and how we eat it, and I started listening. Really listening.
And all those feelings I was feeling from Steve’s ginormous list of raw posts started surfacing again.
Is there a point to all this?
Yes.
The point is, I’ve been afraid for far too long. For far too long, I let fear rule me. I made decisions in fear. I stayed stuck because I was too afraid to unstick myself. I waited for a hero, someone to save me, because I was too afraid to save myself.
Fuck that.
Once I realized that I was the only one who would ever save me, I got to saving. I learned to identify fear and fear blocks. I started facing my fears and knocking them down.
I went from worrier to warrior.
So now, when I find fear, I pick at it. I comfort it. I ask what’s up. I figure out what I’m afraid of and what I want to do about it.
Fear no longer rules me.
I’m still afraid, don’t get me wrong. In fact, last night – barely 36 hours into our raw food run, I broke down and cried. I freaked out. My blender isn’t good enough to blend nuts into paste, and I’d spent over an hour making dinner already, and I couldn’t take it. I even wanted a cheeseburger, wtf? I got so bogged down in fear that I couldn’t breathe for a while.
Yeah, I still feel that, still get paralyzed by it, still get blocked by it.
But I’m not gonna let that stop me anymore.
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10 Comments!
#2 Posted by 
Lynnivere on February 3rd, 2009 4:25 pm | link
I love your honesty here. It’s takes alot of guts to say all this & I admire that you’ve done it.
Here’s what I’ve found.. the more comfortable I am with Raw Food ( or whatever I happen to be doing at the time, ie: fasting, fruits, only greens, etc.) the more comfortable those around me are.
I eat out all the time. I’ve found that simply asking for what I want without explanation usually gets me exactly what I want to eat. It’s pretty cool. I even went to my Dad’s Super Bowl Party & never once discussed Raw Food. Just ate what I like & went on about my business. I doubt they even noticed. Super Cool!
Have fun! *hugs*
#3 Posted by 
Garreth Wilcock on February 3rd, 2009 4:48 pm | link
Good luck with the withdrawal pangs.
De-tox!
#4 Posted by 
SmartyMcSmartyPants on February 3rd, 2009 5:14 pm | link
Hi there Kyeli,
Way to go for making the decision to make better food choices! Go you!
Now relax and breathe. :o) You will find your rhythm with the food prep and the social eating. The key is to develop some go-to meals and snacks that are generally quick and easy to prepare or that you can prepare in large volume and then use for several meals. I know this from my days doing the Zone. Just eat what you want to eat, and you probably won’t have to explain to people why you eat what you eat all that often. People eat or don’t eat all sorts of strange things without anyone batting an eye. You might have some interested parties asking about it from time to time, but that can be a good thing. ;o)
Also, the occasional meal or food outside of your chosen plan doesn’t negate all the good from eating within the plan.
#5 Posted by 
Carlota on February 3rd, 2009 8:58 pm | link
I love this Blog! I so appreciate how you and Pace can be honest and let your personality and what’s going on in your life shine through on it!
“It’s like I’m human or something.” Thank you for allowing me to accept that I’m human too! I also like the “worrier to warrior” I will be sticking that on my wall :D
As for going vegan, wow you get credit for even trying!
As for me, I was wondering how there’s people in this world who eat only veggies and other plants….and I am going thru a difficult phase in my life where I have to juice my veggies with a couple apples to tolerate the blandness or is it my lack of creativity in cooking…
I just started going to a salsa dancing meetup through http://meetup.com and it was SO much fun going to practice with others who are at the same in-between levels as myself.
I also found a few vegan meetups, maybe there is one in your area you might find fun and helpful? Or, you can always start your own!
Thanks for yet another wonderful post!
#6 Posted by 
James | Dancing Geek on February 3rd, 2009 9:08 pm | link
Love it!
I think I’ve said before that I love hearing about this side of things, so thanks again for putting it up here on t’interwebs.
One day it will be I sharing my first few steps into the land of raw, but in the meantime you probably don’t want to look at my last post (sorry about that).
*hugs*
#7 Posted by 
Nick on February 4th, 2009 7:52 am | link
you raw people are driving me nuts! mmm nuts.
more and more raw talk. *licks his lips*
#8 Posted by 
Naomi Dunford on February 7th, 2009 2:39 pm | link
DUDE! ROCK THE FUCK ON! I have been threatening myself with raw-dom for ages now, but the Steve thing wasn’t enough to put me over the edge. I needed someone I actually KNEW. Like, say, Y’ALL!
Will anxiously await updates.
#9 Posted by 
Erin on February 16th, 2009 12:03 pm | link
How is this going, two weeks in?
A friend of mine went raw for a month, nearly four years ago; after a few weeks she developed chronic digestive problems that she still struggles with. In her case the issue seems to be fructose, which a raw diet of course has in spades. I don’t know if her story is common, but whenever I hear of someone going raw, I think of her. I think it’s worth keeping an eye on your body while you’re doing this, and for the few weeks after, to make sure your body tolerates it. I know people typically make this sort of change for health reasons, but it’s not a given that this sort of diet is good for everybody — and drastic change always carries risk.
#1 Posted by
amanda on February 3rd, 2009 3:57 pm | link
I don’t know if you and Pace know about this already, but there is an all raw restaurant in town. The new Daily Juice location in Hyde Park (4500 Duval, 78751) has a full menu of raw food, in addition to the usual juice and smoothies they have at their other locations. It might be nice for a special occasion or something.