Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 8: Feeling considered
by Pace and Kyeli on March 4th, 2009 @ 8:29 am in
Usual Error Project
Tags: the usual error audiobook, the usual error ebook
Each week we give away the next chapter of our book for free. We hope you enjoy it! Here’s this week’s chapter:
Chapter 8: Feeling considered
Feeling considered is knowing that someone has thought of you and respected your wishes when making their own plans. When we consider someone else, we take into account how they feel, what they are thinking, and what they may need before we go ahead with our plans. It’s different from asking permission. Asking permission is seeking approval, but consideration extends an invitation to your partner to be a part of what you’re doing, even in a small way. It is often as simple as rephrasing “I am going to do this” to “I would like to do this” or “Would you mind if I did this?”
…and here’s the rest:
- Related posts:
- Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 22: Giving permission to disappoint
- The Final Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 34: Endings
- Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 14: It’s not all about me
- Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 30: It’s okay to have problems
- Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 17: We’re on the same team
 Have you read our book, The Usual Error? It teaches you how to solve communication issues with compassion and understanding, how to get rid of needless conflict from your life, how to make your relationships smoother, and how to generally be happier. Also, the illustrations are super cool. (:You can buy it on Amazon or read it for free online. |
#1 Posted by
Tanya on March 4th, 2009 11:18 am | link
One of the ways I consider my partner is by saying “I plan to [foo]” rather than “I would like to [foo]“. That phrasing helps him know which things I already feel *committed* to doing as opposed to things that I would kind of sort of maybe one day perhaps like to do.
Also, sounding wishy-washy gets people confused into thinking I’m a doormat. Sadly, this is one miscommunication in which hilarity does not ensue.
Another way to make it clear that you aren’t asking permission (giving up too much responsibility/having poor boundaries) is to say “[foo] is my plan for today. I’d like to know how that’s going to work with your plans.”
The suggestions in this comment are not guaranteed by any institution and should not be used as a substitute as advice from your attorney, doctor, or mother-in-law. Void where prohibited. For external use only. ; )