Comments on: Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 10: Fierceness http://freakrevolution.com/2009/03/18/book-bonanza-wednesday-chapter-10-fierceness/ Normal people won't change the world. We will. Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:20:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Andy http://freakrevolution.com/2009/03/18/book-bonanza-wednesday-chapter-10-fierceness/comment-page-1/#comment-1853 Andy Thu, 30 Jul 2009 15:49:06 +0000 http://freakrevolution.com/?p=1300#comment-1853 Yes, actually. I'm trying to read the chapters in order, since I started getting e-mails from your blog in the middle of the book... so I'm going to look forward to the ones I haven't read yet. Thanks muchly! Yes, actually. I’m trying to read the chapters in order, since I started getting e-mails from your blog in the middle of the book… so I’m going to look forward to the ones I haven’t read yet. Thanks muchly!

]]> By: Pace http://freakrevolution.com/2009/03/18/book-bonanza-wednesday-chapter-10-fierceness/comment-page-1/#comment-1851 Pace Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:26:10 +0000 http://freakrevolution.com/?p=1300#comment-1851 We talk about backing off when getting too aggressive a little bit in <a href="http://usualerror.com/e-book/the-william-james-zone/" rel="nofollow">The William James Zone</a>, and we talk about resolving a verbal conflict in a win/win way in <a href="http://usualerror.com/e-book/verbal-aikido/" rel="nofollow">Verbal aikido</a>. Even if the other person feels like they "won" the right to step on your boundaries, if you back off to fierce instead of backing all the way off to peaceful, and if you continue to <a href="http://usualerror.com/e-book/holding-healthy-boundaries" rel="nofollow">hold healthy boundaries</a> in the future, the other person won't be able to force you into a boundary-violating situation. Does that help? We talk about backing off when getting too aggressive a little bit in The William James Zone, and we talk about resolving a verbal conflict in a win/win way in Verbal aikido. Even if the other person feels like they “won” the right to step on your boundaries, if you back off to fierce instead of backing all the way off to peaceful, and if you continue to hold healthy boundaries in the future, the other person won’t be able to force you into a boundary-violating situation.

Does that help?

]]> By: Andy http://freakrevolution.com/2009/03/18/book-bonanza-wednesday-chapter-10-fierceness/comment-page-1/#comment-1850 Andy Thu, 30 Jul 2009 08:36:16 +0000 http://freakrevolution.com/?p=1300#comment-1850 I like how you explained the concept of fierceness, but I feel like there wasn't much advice for maintaining it. How do you keep from falling into one of the other two boxes, when the situation tries to put you there? If you can feel yourself getting too aggressive, how do you back off enough to calm down without the other person feeling as if they "won" the right to step on your boundaries, and that you've "lost" the right to defend them? I know the simplest solution is to refuse to associate with that person in the future, but not all ties can be cleanly cut. I like how you explained the concept of fierceness, but I feel like there wasn’t much advice for maintaining it. How do you keep from falling into one of the other two boxes, when the situation tries to put you there? If you can feel yourself getting too aggressive, how do you back off enough to calm down without the other person feeling as if they “won” the right to step on your boundaries, and that you’ve “lost” the right to defend them? I know the simplest solution is to refuse to associate with that person in the future, but not all ties can be cleanly cut.

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