All I need to do is hire a Hydra.
by Kyeli on June 13th, 2009 @ 5:17 pm in
Off-Topic
Tags: funny
I’ve been super stressed out and overwhelmed and weary lately. In a fabulous and much-needed conversation with the Marvelous Ms M, I realized (for, like, the 50th time) that I’m trying to wear far too many hats at once.
I eventually came up with the perfect solution to all my problems: All I need to do is hire a Hydra.
So I wrote a want-ad.
Wanted: one fully grown, well-trained Hydra for assistance with small business, in a Personal Assistant-type role. Weary woman has far too many hats and needs extra heads to share burdens.
Nine heads, nine helping hats:
1) full-time care taking of one small boy (not much trouble; no eating!)
2) transport child to and from extracurricular activities twice a week
3) full-time care taking of three cats and one fish (trouble levels vary; no eating!)
4) run errands when needed
5) prepare meals twice a day for family
6) some laundry, occasional house-cleaning
7) maintain calendar of events for family
8) take calls and emails from clients and respond in a timely manner
9) help with various admin duties for small business
Previous experience and references required. Pay offered in Grecian heroes and fish. Must keep poisonous breath to self, must not eat child, cats, or clients. Must provide own transport; we do live near a river.
Please contact me if interested; position needs immediate filling.
I’ve posted it to my creative writing site, and also on Craig’s List.
Maybe I’ll find one. Can’t hurt to look, eh?
3 Comments!
#2 Posted by 
Bob Poole on June 18th, 2009 7:03 am | link
If you get a response, you’re on to something. I have first dibs on the second hydra. Of course, with the proper references and vetted by Kyeli.
Bob Poole’s last blog post..Why I Drive By 8 Dry Cleaners to Get to Mine
#3 Posted by On the Urgency of Self-Care | Freak Revolution on July 6th, 2009 9:36 am | link
[...] was wearing too many hats, and contimplating hiring a mythical beast to help me out. I’ve been trying to be eight or nine different full-time things, and [...]
#1 Posted by Hiring a Hydra — Personal Revelations of the Magnificent Megan M. on June 17th, 2009 9:00 am | link
[...] Kyeli Smith is pretty fucking smart. She understands a few things about problem solving—first and foremost, that formidable mythical monsters are excellent multitaskers. [...]