Comments on: I want money. Pace’s money.

By: Andy

Andy — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 10:46:16 +0000

i’m the same way about money not being real unless it’s cash… only with the opposite result. unless it’s cash in my hand, i’m afraid to spend it, because in my head, it’s not really there.

it makes me amazing at saving money, but it makes me really, really bad about taking care of myself. i convince myself that i really can’t afford that awesome salad, so i’ll buy the cheap microwave dinner instead, or that i can’t afford to go out of the house and do this awesome thing that i know will help me feel human again, so i stay home and continue feeling worn down by household chores.

though, after being unemployed for a Long Time, and *really* having no money, it’s a lot easier for me to realize how important taking care of myself really is, so when i *do* get money, i’m less likely to put off my well being for a fatter savings account.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:23:48 +0000

I’ve heard switching to cash works for many people. I’m a bit of a natural hoarder anyway, but what I find interesting is that I have to do the opposite. Cash isn’t real to me. If I have cash, it always disappears pretty quickly. I do almost all of my budgeting using my debit card. The money in my account is real to me. The money I take out of it with my card is real to me. Once it’s cash, it’s not in my account and I can’t count on it any more. It’s not there to be relied on, and since I know it’ll vanish soon anyway, I’ve already pretty much given up on it. Just part of how people vary. I’m glad you found something that works for you.

By: Pam Hogeweide

Pam Hogeweide — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 08:00:22 +0000

great post! after 21 years of marriage, and hubby is the financier of the family (simply because he is better at it and not for any other reason) i can say that the number one thing we have battled over is Money. And you nailed it, totally nailed it, when you likened the possession of money to the possession of power. Money = Power.

I came to realize several years ago that I have been like a little girl when it comes to money. Jerry takes care of the bills (I don’t even know when they are due, or usually how much they are…unless we have the ‘money talk’ and I get an updated report)…

I am like you, Kyeli, I run the household, take care of groceries and the kids and social stuff like gifts, etc…I do my best to spend wisely. I don’t like using credit cards and would LOVE to go on the envelope system. I have suggested this for years…YEARS…and well, we pick the battles don’t we, and he really, really doesn’t want to do the envelope-cash thing, so Ok, we won’t. Mostly we manage. We pay our bill off every month. We’ve never had a major financial crisis in more than two decades of marriage. And I am not such a little girl anymore about the state of our finances.

I think it is admirable how the two of you have taken a conflict and come up with a solution that works for you. Of course this doesn’t mean you’ll never argue about money again….but this is such a wonderful way to manage money (power!) wisely and to keep the relationship harmonious. You inspire me!

Have a great and safe weekend. Happy Fourth!

Pam Hogeweide’s last blog post..Demotivational Devotional: Unpurposed Living {Day Four}

By: Nathalie Lussier

Nathalie Lussier — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:25:39 +0000

I really like these open posts, because it gives us a glimpse into what it's like for other people. My boyfriend & I tend to have fairly separate bank accounts and spending habits. We split on food, and bills, but other than that our discretionary spending is ours alone. I have a feeling though that when we move in together more permanently, this might change. Oh, and it's cool because my boyfriend's love language is also gifts, but I'm not always on the ball when it comes to gift giving. I'm putting your system in place to help me figure out what he wants. :) Thanksies! Nathalie Lussier’s last blog post..Why It’s Easier to Go Raw Than To Become Vegan

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:23:46 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing so openly! Money can be so *icky* to talk about and your talking about it clearly and without shame, is a fabulous example. Thanks! Tara’s last blog post..One More Day!

By: kate

kate — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:46:51 +0000

wow, seriously, my husband and i have been having these same ‘conversations’ over and over and over and over and over! And have been trying to figure out options. I am going to suggest this one to him too!! i love this! I had heard about this (and my aunt used to do this!) but was thinking what a PAIN for me… never occurred to me to share it with the more spendy one :)

Obviously there is much more to ever money/relationship situation – but thank you SO MUCH for sharing your pain and resolution!! Seriously helped me see things just enough differently that i believe it will help facilitate some good conversations and get some ideas flowing for my family too!!

By: Sea

Sea — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:05:59 +0000

Hey, neat, I’ve been thinking about this myself. I’m about to strike out on my own for the first time, and I have been trying to figure out how exactly to do this whole money thing. The Internets have informed me of this solution, calling it envelope budgeting, and I’m thinking of doing something similar. Hope it works for me, too!

By: Tari

Tari — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:11:59 +0000

This is totally my own solution to my crap skills with managing money; switching to cash - while shockingly old-fashioned to most people (apparently) - totally helped me stop looking at money as some kind of endless abstract concept, and start seeing it as a physical manifestation of real-life (finite) resources. I suspect there are a lot of people with similar experiences, but there's such weirdness around money stuff that nobody ever discusses it. Yay for you for breaking that ridiculous silence!! Tari’s last blog post..Sunshine and darkness and time passing.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:07:46 +0000

I think that this is such an awesome post… it deals with emotions and fears and money, all the stuff I like to read about on the WWW. It’s true that money feels more real and you’re more conscious of when you’re spending with REAL money. Another thing that really connected me to the power of my money was trying out a No Spend Week when I limited myself to 40$ for the week.

SmallNotebook started doing this three years ago and just, just published an adorable news clip of their TV interview with their adorable-steal-the-show two year old :)
http://smallnotebook.org/2009/06/29/looking-forward-to-no-spend-month/

Aprovechar is also doing the challenge:
http://aprovechar.danandsally.com/?p=708

I’m not brave enough for a full month, but a week was eye opening for me.

Anyways, hugs to both of you for being able to communicate, learn, grow and love each other so much :D

By: Megan M.

Megan M. — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:31:57 +0000

I love that you discovered a solution that worked so well! Brilliant! Megan M.’s last blog post..Wherein I Pimp the Living Shit Out of CrossFit Central