Transparency.

#1 Posted by Pace on October 14th, 2009 12:48 pm | link

I can help, Kye. I can write some extra posts. I’m here for you, sweetheart. oxoxox

#2 Posted by Pam (@moonslark) on October 14th, 2009 12:50 pm | link

(hugs) Its okay to take space to breathe and grieve… we all need that sometimes
Pam (@moonslark)´s last blog ..Review: The Freak Manifesto (Part 1)

#3 Posted by Julie on October 14th, 2009 12:52 pm | link

I think those of us changing the world by being exactly who we are … get to be exactly who we are, even when we’re grieving or hurting or whatever. Maybe especially then. We’re whole people, you know? And your readers, of all people, they know that.

I’m so sorry for your loss. May everyone know peace.

Many hugs.
Julie
Julie´s last blog ..Wherever You Go, There You Are

#4 Posted by Charlotte on October 14th, 2009 12:53 pm | link

I’m so sorry for your loss, dear Kyeli. The fact that your cousin leaves two children behind her makes it even more incomparably tragic.

Huge *hugs* for you.
Charlotte´s last blog ..Voice.

#5 Posted by JoVE on October 14th, 2009 12:53 pm | link

Well I’m one reader that doesn’t want you to “push through” as if somehow grieving is a sign of weakness or something. Grief is hard. Especially when it sounds like you would have liked to have developed more of a relationship with this cousin. You are grieving the loss of the opportunity to do that as well as the loss of her life. Lots of stuff. Take your time.
JoVE´s last blog ..Maybe sitting at your desk to work is the problem

#6 Posted by Marianne on October 14th, 2009 12:53 pm | link

I think keeping it together is over-rated. There needs to be space for letting it all fall apart in the face of big changes or nothing would ever be transformed. I would gently suggest being very kind to yourself at this time, honouring your gift of empathy and this time for grief. Nobody needs anything else from you.
Marianne´s last blog ..Spring Cleanse: Week Two

#7 Posted by Naomi Niles on October 14th, 2009 12:53 pm | link

I’m so sorry, Kyeli. Sometimes things just don’t seem to make any sense. Sending hugs to you and your family and your cousin’s children.
Naomi Niles´s last blog ..IttyBiz Site Redesign

#8 Posted by Fabeku on October 14th, 2009 12:57 pm | link

I am so so so sorry for your loss. I struggle to find words that even fit when something like this happens. They feel clumsy. So, instead, lots of love and care and good vibes and warm blankets. And take whatever time you need to do whatever you need to do for.
Fabeku´s last blog ..Grooves. Gaps. Static. And Stuck.

#9 Posted by Andi on October 14th, 2009 12:59 pm | link

You may not know this – though hopefully do – but your readers like you. Your readers care about you. And you have such awesome readers that they -understand- what it means to grieve, and they want you to have that time and space.

I can only speak for myself, but I’ll be around here whenever you’re ready to keep going. However long that takes.

You’re part of a revolution. Don’t forget to revolutionize your own expectations of how hard and fast you have to push yourself – even through tragedy – to succeed.
Andi´s last blog ..Fiction: Meeting The Wolf (2008)

#10 Posted by Sonia Simone on October 14th, 2009 1:03 pm | link

What a terrible, terrible shock. I’m so sorry. Thinking about you, honey.
Sonia Simone´s last blog ..What Makes Marketing Hard?

#11 Posted by LJFWolffe on October 14th, 2009 1:03 pm | link

Ow. Lo siento. (Spanish; literally, “I feel it,” or I feel with you.”) Know that you have a friend in Oregon sending you loving thoughts and asking any deities who’ll listen to hold you close while you go through this. Anything else I can think to say just sounds too hollow.
LJFWolffe´s last blog ..The Beer Prayer

#12 Posted by Amanda on October 14th, 2009 1:07 pm | link

I think this is an excellent time for guest posts!

And snuggling with books and babes and boys and babies.

#13 Posted by Hiro Boga on October 14th, 2009 1:09 pm | link

Kyeli, I’m so sorry. Sending love and blessings to you and your family, and your cousin’s children and family too.
Hiro Boga´s last blog ..The With-ness of We

#14 Posted by Bob Poole on October 14th, 2009 1:11 pm | link

You and Pace are wonderful humans who do so much for everyone around you. Let us take care of you now. Rest and allow us to do that – whatever you need.
Bob Poole´s last blog ..Hungry

#15 Posted by Leah/DefytheBox on October 14th, 2009 1:18 pm | link

Hi Kyeli,
I am sorry to hear of your loss and the grief that you feel.
In my opinion, the best way to work through a tragedy is to allow yourself time to feel and process the grief. Snuggle down into the arms of the people that you love and who love you. Appreciate all that you are and all that you have. Cry…eat ice cream….stay in bed if you want and let it all wash over you. It will pass once you allow yourself to really feel it. Resisting it is what will make it linger on.
Many Blessings to you!
Leah
Leah/DefytheBox´s last blog ..This Sucks! How do I make it better ?

#16 Posted by Dee on October 14th, 2009 1:39 pm | link

*HUGS*

#17 Posted by Ealasaid on October 14th, 2009 1:56 pm | link

Grieving is hard work. For me, the hardest part about it is giving myself permission to DO IT without beating myself up for being weak, for failing to live up to the bullshit standards I’ve set myself.

Others have said it already but I’ll say it again: your readers like you. I know I don’t want you to pretend to be fine when you’re not, or to push yourself too hard on my behalf. Take care of yourself, Kyeli. That’s the most important work any of us can do.

Blessings to you.

#18 Posted by Marissa on October 14th, 2009 2:15 pm | link

I’m sorry, and I’m thinking of you. Sending support and love.
Marissa´s last blog ..Monday Mashup #3: Ten Expressions (5 That I Loathe & 5 That I Love)

#19 Posted by James NomadRip on October 14th, 2009 2:41 pm | link

I know from my own experiences that there really isn’t anything anyone can say at times like this. Everyone deals with loss their own way. The closest thing I’ve known is to let people grieving know that they are not alone and that we care.

Otherwise, I think it’s pretty “normal” to feel like shit when something like this happens, because it pretty universally sucks.

Shout if you need anything. You have plenty of people around you that will do their best to try to help you through it.
James NomadRip´s last blog ..NomadRip: @acbowen Shark-flipping is a matter of leverage. And attacking them 1st. They aren’t used to that sort of thing.

#20 Posted by Tracy on October 14th, 2009 3:31 pm | link

Kyeli, I’m sending good wishes and the hope that you’ll find space to grieve, lots of little moments of grounding, and continued support from all the people who care about you. And please know that whatever you’re feeling, for however long you feel it, is okay.
Tracy´s last blog ..Reflection: Stitching Meditation

#21 Posted by Toby McHenry on October 14th, 2009 6:15 pm | link

(It’s not one of mine, but I really love it. May it’s words have meaning to you.)

Memento Mori
by Sandy Crimmins

How do we mark the end of a life?
Quiet the simple words of doing and being.
Set loose the person who rode horses,
Smiled and soldiered, believed and bled.
In the movement of color and the color of movement.
But how can we understand lifeless hands.
With no hammer or chalk, sewing needle or spoon.
Draped with a rosary that swings toward an unseen magnet.
A compass point we can’t feel.
How do we choose a coffin?
What wood, which clothe, brass or base metals,
Will show what was or what we think was.
Now, that the story is ours to tell?
What do we put in a coffin?
A photograph, or a dozen?
Some symbol of eternal life?
The eternity of a life that ended like all,
No matter how many talismans were pasted to the soul.
How do we choose a coffin, darkening the face?
Losing the last of the soul showing in an unseen smile.
Sealing fate with our hands, tightening screws.
How do we bury a life that once was?
Cover it, smooth it, plant it over with grass?
Welcome a new day the air above lifting ever bluer?
How do we let the living put roots around a coffin, and grow?

#22 Posted by Hayden Tompkins on October 14th, 2009 6:44 pm | link

{HUG}
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..The Truth About Rapid Weight Loss

#23 Posted by Nathalie Lussier on October 14th, 2009 6:44 pm | link

Sending you nothing but love and support, and permission, and space. *hugs*
Nathalie Lussier´s last blog ..How to Make a Festive Raw Pumpkin Pie Recipe

#24 Posted by Clare K. R. Miller on October 14th, 2009 6:52 pm | link

How tragic. ::hugs::

#25 Posted by Lissa Boles on October 14th, 2009 8:30 pm | link

I am so sorry, Kyeli. Sudden unexpected loss, especially when there’s children involved, is tragically heart-rending and traumatic. Finding your feet again takes time, so please take yours. You’re more than worth the wait. And remember that we’re here for you too, okay? Sending you and your family love, hugs & prayers.
Lissa Boles´s last blog ..The Obama Effect

#26 Posted by Julia on October 15th, 2009 10:42 am | link

Grieving is work. Take the time you need for it. And know that people are around for you to help you with whatever you need.

#27 Posted by Michael on October 15th, 2009 6:53 pm | link

*hugs*

#28 Posted by Rachael on October 15th, 2009 8:22 pm | link

Dear sweet Kyeli, don’t take away your time to grieve. Give yourself love like you gave love to your cousin, like the family around her gives love to her precious children. Take the time to find your peace.
Rachael´s last blog ..An Apology: A Letter To Myself

#29 Posted by Kathleen Jaffe on October 19th, 2009 8:47 am | link

Kyeli, I just want to give you a hug. Take all the time you need. Grief cannot be rushed.