So I’ve finally realized why I like you freaks so much. It’s because you remind me in a very real way that a person can not toe the line, not follow the rules, not adhere to a dress code or a behavior code or whatever the fuck else… and still do just fine in this rather straightlaced society of ours.

Let me explain.

I’ve always been a pretty down-the-middle sort of a guy from all outside appearances. YES, I swear a lot and YES, I have some controversial perspectives on things and YES, I can be kind of “out there” in personality and sense of humor and whatnot.

But I have no tattoos. I have no body modifications. I’ve never dyed my hair an odd color, unless you count bleaching, once, in college, when I was “really crazy.”

Okay, so what? “Way to be surface level, Johnny,” you may be thinking.

But I’ve also never really bucked authority. I’ve never paid a bill late, or not paid it at all. I’ve never done something in a way that was patently WRONG according to every rule that our society has and then stood there and said, “Okay… so what are you going to do about it?”

And by now, you may be reading this and thinking that I have this perception of every reader of and contributor to this site as being a bunch of wild-haired, financially-welching anarchists who are ready to blow up the world. That’s not the case, but hear where I’m coming from: To this here rule-follower, who was always taught to do things in such-and-such a way OR ELSE, you are all reminders that the walls don’t come crashing down the minute one of those little arbitrary rules is broken.

The freaks of the world do things that are “wrong” by one commonly accepted rule or another.

The freaks of the world say, “I don’t agree with this. Let’s try it this other way, instead.”

The freaks of the world are more apt to ask WHY a rule is in place rather than just following it.

So this may all seem 1) really obvious and 2) naive and 3) like a super-shitty epiphany as far as epiphanies go, but for those of you who didn’t grow up in the world I grew up in, I’d just like to specifically enumerate some truths about the way “most people” believe. Really think about these, and really think about what’s behind them. Go deep. The sooner we can understand how to bridge the gap between freaks and line-toers, the sooner maybe this world can see some of that change we talk so much about.

Immutable laws of life:

RULE #1: You must act and appear in a way that others will like and accept.

Think really hard on this one. Because the knee-jerk reaction would be to say that the guy who wears a white shirt and blue tie to work is obeying this rule, whereas the girl with three nose piercings is not. But if the pierced girl’s circle of friends are all punks, then there’s a really good chance that she’s just adhering to the punk group’s rules about appearance and behavior, rather than simply doing what’s in her heart.

True individualism is wearing a white shirt and blue tie in a group of peers who have their faces tattooed, if it strikes you to do so.

True individualism is being in the Indie rock scene and admitting that you like Miley Cyrus.

Oh, and by the way, true individualism is also looking and acting exactly like the people around you — provided your motivations are truly your own internal thoughts and desires, rather than a sense of pressure to conform… even if what you’re conforming to is a dress code of nonconformity.

RULE #2: You must never, never, NEVER break an obligation… or else.

If you grew up in my world, you know that only a bad person would promise to do something and then not do it.

Sounds fair, right? We should all keep our promises. We should all honor our commitments. People who don’t are hypocrites. They’re assholes.

Well, that kind of thinking is all fine and good until you realize you’ve been doing a job that you hate because you told yourself you would. Or because you promised a spouse that you would. Or because you feel beholden to the company, that they’d be lost without you. Or because it’s what your parents want for you.

It’s all good until you realize that you’re stressed out of your mind because you’re holding on to a lifestyle obligation that is dragging you down, using up all of your time and not allowing you to see your family.

It’s all a solid concept, until you find yourself financially fucked like so many people in this recession, but you won’t cast off some ballast to save yourself because you’ve AGREED TO PAY. You look at a repossession as a horrible act, even though you’re drowning. A foreclosure is a massive failure. Bankruptcy is the ultimate tragedy. But if you let go? If you broke those obligations? Well, you’d be saving yourself — but you can’t do that because only criminals and super-assholes break their promises. It makes more sense to die a slow, painful death… while maintaining your integrity.

RULE #3: You must consume.

This, along with the tail end of Rule #2 above, has been on my mind a lot lately because I’ve been reading and listening to a lot of material about living life on a cash basis. Meaning: without using credit at all. If you can’t write a check or pull bills out of your wallet to pay for something, you don’t buy it.

Makes sense, right? Until you get deep into your head and you realize how deeply we’ve been programmed to consume.

We don’t need an apartment. We need a NICE apartment.

We don’t need books. We need a TV. Although, that’s not even right. We need a BIG TV.

We need an iPod.

We need a smart phone, because calls aren’t enough. We need email and internet, too.

I’m not advocating a stark life without any fun or niceties here, but I am saying: Stop and think about it. What if you didn’t have a phone at all? What if you lived in a stark space that was nothing other than warm and dry? Maybe you wouldn’t want to live like that, but could you?

Of course you could. And when you think about it, you know it without question. But on an emotional level, it never feels like that. So we buy and we buy and we buy and we buy. And we don’t even buy what we want. We buy what we are programmed to want.

Those are just a few rules off the top of my head. Dudes, I lived those rules. I still live those rules. We have our lives and our obligations, and then we have these rules that say what we’re supposed to do, and we accept them as immutable truth.

But I like freaks because they prove that you don’t have to play by the rules all the time. It’s not just your appearance, because I’m a freak in training and my appearance is pretty ordinary. What matters most is your attitude and actions. I do have a head start. I was a punk rock kid for a long time, but it’s easy to get sucked back in to the world of the normal.

Let’s take my hosts, the lovely Pace and Kyeli.

You’re supposed to pair with the opposite sex.

Well, what if we don’t?

If you were born a man, you’re a man forever.

Well, what if I’m not?

No matter what you do, you can’t get married that way.

Well, what if we do it anyway, and just don’t file the legal shit?

They’ve done so much “wrong.” But guess what? It all washes out. Life goes on. Nobody comes to the door to force them apart.

Then, after watching this example, you step back into my normal-guy shoes.

And you look at those two people, at their circle. And maybe, turning to yourself, you think about the dozen investment properties that you have in one of the worst markets in the nation, and you notice how you’ve been raping your future to find at least $2000 to throw at them each month, and you think of how the stress has to be taking years off your life. And you think about how, still, you have to find a way to keep them afloat because… because you made a commitment.

You have to.

Well, what if you don’t?

I’m just saying.

Johnny B. Truant is a generally deep-thinker who is somehow also a website guy specializing in WordPress. In fact, he’s so incredibly cool that he’s setting up self-hosted WordPress blogs for FREE until the end of December. You should totally read his blog and follow him on Twitter.

To some people, it might seem really obvious to hang out with friends who are supportive and accepting of who you are, however you are.

But for me, in school and in life, I tended to hang out with whatever group of people circumstances handed me. People in my classes. People in my department at work.

It wasn’t until just a couple of years ago that I realized:

You can pick your friends.

(And I’m not going to apologize for the “you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose” reference. Gross? Maybe. But this post just got a whole lot more memorable, didn’t it?)

It sounds like such a basic friend commandment, but how many people are in your life who leave you feeling drained and frustrated?

More importantly, how many people are in your life who really fill you up and help you feel good about yourself?

Freaky on the inside

I don’t look like a freak on the outside. I’ve got one tiny tattoo. I’m white, heterosexual, married, and own real estate.

But on the inside I always felt like there was something wrong with me, because I felt suffocated by all the things I was doing because That’s The Way It’s Done. All those things that nobody else seemed to have a problem with.

Eventually in my efforts to stop being miserable, I accepted the fact that my lucrative IT career was never going to fulfill my desire to make a difference. I had no idea what kind of difference I wanted to make, but I started looking for the next thing.

And soon I realized that the next thing wasn’t going to be a typical thing.

Simultaneously, I started to see that some of my apparent flaws weren’t flaws at all – they were just characteristics to be accepted. (What? I’m not defective because I don’t want to be told how to dress?)

Once I was able to accept some of those traits, it became clear I’d never be able to thrive in any regular job.

That scared the shit out of me.

And even scarier, I started to see that in order to thrive as an entrepreneur, I’d need to build my business from the inside out, which meant there was no real map for me to follow.

Yes, there were other coaches out there, but a lot of what I saw them doing didn’t feel like me.

The thought of trying to tell my so-called friends what I wanted to do made me nauseous. And the few times I did try to share it, it always came out wooden and stiff, because I didn’t feel safe enough to gush about it.

Barbara Sher says that isolation is the dream killer.

Damn right, it is.

Somehow, maybe simply by virtue of the fact that I was looking for supportive people to hang out with, I got hooked up with a group that included Kyeli and Pace.

That made a huge difference.

Was it still scary to “come out” to the world and say I wanted to be a coach? Absolutely. (In fact, I still choke on that word a bit, because it has some unfortunate connotations associated with it.)

But knowing that my friends were behind me, rooting for me, helped me to feel like I could do it anyway.

As I’ve talked with friends and clients, I’m understanding the importance of support at a deeper level.

Just as our families influence our sense of “normal” while we’re growing up, the people we surround ourselves with create our sense of “normal” as adults.

Before I knew Pace and Kyeli and people like Havi, Naomi, and Mark, the idea of supporting myself with my own business – in a way that wouldn’t leave me feeling like a sellout – seemed crazy.

Okay, sometimes it still seems a little crazy, but now that I know lots of people doing their own unique things to support themselves, it seems normal enough to try it.

And by seeking out the support of my true friends, the things that gave me the shakes before now seem like much less of a big deal. I have more energy to invest in the things that are important to me, because I’m not having to waste it on “fitting in.”

Maybe you have no interest in starting a business – that’s completely okay. Really this is about finding support so you can be the real you, whatever that may look like.

Who do you have in your life that helps you feel safe enough to be a freak?
How can you spend more time with them and less time with the people who don’t help you feel safe?

Victoria Brouhard is a former database programmer who decided to flick boogers at the Man and do her own thing after developing a solid support network. Now she works with clients one-on-one to help them find ways to do what they love without feeling like they’re jumping into an abyss. She tweets as victoriashmoria and blogs at http://www.victoriabrouhard.com/blog.

If you’re reading this, chances are that you sometimes feel like an outsider. Maybe you feel like a freak, left out, not quite like the rest.

That doesn’t mean you can’t live a great and fulfilling life. Actually, not to make you feel any less special, but chances are you’re not alone in feeling like an outsider.

How to Relate to Others

I first started “going off the deep end” as some have called it, when I started eating more raw fruits and vegetables. People didn’t know how to relate to me anymore, because I didn’t fit in the usual box. I didn’t eat the standard American diet, and I seemed perfectly happy not to chow down on a steak or a hamburger.

The first thing I had to learn was how to continue relating to others. You see, in my example, food is a super important part of the social aspects of life.

I can picture cavepeople gathering around some food and telling stories as they eat. Well, maybe that’s a little idealized and they were really just hiding in the bushes eating their own little shares.

Still, these days most social get togethers involve food and if you don’t fit in, then people get confused. If you let them get confused, or you allow their confusion to get to you, you’re just creating space for your mind and their mind to judge.

Judgment and persecution occurs when your mind needs to prove that it is “right”. Have you ever seen someone start an arguement because you were different, even though no one mentioned your difference? What happened was the other person felt threatened, felt that their decisions were being put on the spot by your mere presence.

How to Disarm the Judgment Before it Happens

The way to really enjoy being different, without causing tons of uncomfortable reactions is to address the situation overtly.

If you notice that someone is eyeing your tattoos suspiciously and about to comment on your piercings… maybe it’s a good idea to mention that you enjoy creating art with your body, but that it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a great person.

In my case, I like to address people’s most insidious concern when it comes to my eating raw food: that I prefer eating raw food because it taste good and makes me feel good, but that I don’t expect them to change their eating habits.

In fact I embrace the diversity, because we’re all different and that makes things exciting.

How’s that for diffusing a situation before it gets all prickly?

So hopefully I’ve given you some food for thought, when it comes to living the life of the outsider. I suspect that more of us feel like outsiders than we’d like to admit.

It’s just a matter of embracing our differences, loving ourselves for who we are, and letting the world know that we’re okay with their differences too.

Nathalie Lussier helps men and women who know they need to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables when they don’t know how to get started, get over the cravings, and avoid family drama. She is known as the Raw Foods Witch, and you can also find her as @NathLussier on twitter.

Part I: In Which I Lose My Spark

There was a time when writing came easily to me. There was a time–and it was only a handful of years ago–when my appetite for delectable content and my ability to create were pretty evenly balanced. In the past year or so, that balance was tousled and my consumption of content skyrocketed. My creation of content… well, it nearly ceased altogether.

I’ve noticed this happening, but haven’t given it a lot of thought. After all, there’s a plethora of great content out there. Between blogs and Tweets and books and interviews with really smart, fascinating people, a Curious George like me could make a full-time job of doing nothing but keeping up with everything that interests me. So what’s the downside?

Wily little creative spark, flighty and mercurial. I wanted you to make an appearance, but for naught–plenty of other people out there were creating more than enough great content to make up for your absence anyway.

Part II: The Squelching of the Spark

The downside of this unending buffet of consumable content is what hit me when I sat down to write this post and found myself staring down a writer’s block larger and more looming than any I’d encountered before. After engaging in some de-blocking exercises born of maturity and self-awareness (read: “I kicked, screamed, and pouted, and procrastinated on Twitter”), I finally paused to ponder what it was that made up that formidable block standing between me and my written utterances.

And damned if it wasn’t a big ol’ pile of all of that wonderful content I’ve been consuming so voraciously over the past year or so. If my own creative voice is a spark, and stimulating, fascinating content is fuel to its embers, I’d managed to dump the equivalent of a mighty redwood onto my spark. And then got frustrated when I couldn’t figure out how to stoke the fire.

Poor little creative spark, smothered under a world of others’ input and thoughts. I berated you for abandoning me, but as it turns out, I kind of squashed you.

Part III: Awareness

I tweeted a few days ago that it’s a fine line between being inspired by other peoples’ content and being overwhelmed by too much input. What I didn’t realize is how much I’ve effectively silenced myself by constantly turning outward for inspiration, ideas and conversation. I’d simply forgotten to leave any space in my brain–let alone in my day–to listen to my own ideas, process all of my own snippets of information, and flesh out my own internal dialogue. I kept piling on more and more consumed content without leaving any room for me to create my own.

But then I realized, as I excavated the spark-smothering mass of consumed content, that my little creative spark was still there, a little pilot light that managed to stay lit. And the more I lifted the self-imposed pressure to write like the writers I enjoy, to be “as good as” the experts whose advice I try to heed, to create content that mirrors that which I consume in heft and in import (as judged by harshest-critic-me, of course)… the more that little spark flickered.

Resilient little spark, nestled at the bottom of this overwhelming pile of potential fodder and fuel. I fed you too intensely, when in truth, I needed to give you room to burn, big and bright and bold.

Part IV: The Renewal of the Flame

“Well,” I said aloud to the mental image of my creative spark, “looks like you and I have something to talk about after all.”

And damned if that potential-laden spark didn’t crackle up into a respectable creative flame.

Into the empty screen I’d stared at for hours earlier I suddenly poured the story of how I lost–and rediscovered–my creative spark. It’s neither keyword-rich nor particularly ReTweet-inducingly funny, neither list-formatted for easy skimming nor a how-to guide for easy online dissemination.

But it’s mine, and it’s heartfelt and real, and after all that pain of writer’s block battling, it actually feels really good to write.

Marvelous little spark, flames licking into the open space we created around you tonight, I tried so hard to consume enough great content to make you be great yourself, when in truth, all I needed was to give you space to BE.

Part V: In Which I Reflect and Intend

And so it is that I wrote this blog post for my dear friends’ blog, which became a manifesto of sorts, and a love letter to my creative spark. It being the time of year for reflections and intentions, I offer this commitment to myself: Embrace the exploration of others’ thoughts and musings, but respect the necessary space around my own spark; admire the power and humor and wisdom of others’ creations, but nurture the manifestation of my own.

Can you relate to this–to the writers block, the smothered spark, the feast of content consumed and famine of content created? If so, what’s your secret for finding balance between the input and the creation? How do you feed your creative spark without overpowering it?

Marissa Bracke is a Can-Do-Ologist who specializes in bridging gaps between small business owners’ to-dos and their can-actually-get-dones. When not solving collaboration conundrums or giving great email for her clients, Marissa is most likely creating a collage masterpiece, compiling the perfect eclectic playlist, or spoiling her two dogs (her Vice-Presidents of Customer Relations and Creative Napping, Ernie and Rosco).

If you don’t see the video, click here.

Megan Elizabeth Morris, or The Magnificent Megan M., [proper noun]: Superhuman font of knowledge, skill, determination & resourcefulness. Exudes enzymes that cause others to surpass their potential. Master thinker; writes, designs, manages, ideastorms, markets, inspires, connects, grows, teaches, makes things happen, changes the world, and throws a mean right hook. (Okay. Not the last one. Well! Not literally.)

Megan, also known as That Idea Blueprint Girl, writes at Personal Revelations of the Magnificent Megan M.

Pace and I will be boarding our plane to Ireland in less than 24 hours! I hope I can sleep tonight. I guess I can sleep on the plane, as long as Customs lets me get on it; it’s a long flight.

Since we’ll be in Ireland(!!!), we will be mostly incommunicado for the next three weeks – two spent on the Emerald Isle, and one spent recovering here at home.

We could have queued up a bunch of posts, but I’m no good at pre-writing so far in advance. Instead, we’re going to have a Guest Post Extravaganza and fill the next three weeks with so much awesome from our friends that you might just burst.

Here’s the lineup!

Starting off our Extravaganza and making your Yule more festive on the 21st: Megan Morris, That Idea Blueprint Girl, with Sink the Boat! (It’s a video post, so you get to see how cute Megan is (very!).)

Wednesday, December 23rd: Marissa Bracke, the Can-Do-Ologist, with An Ode to My Creative Spark: A Love Letter in Five Parts.

Brightening up your Christmas Friday: Nathalie Lussier, the Raw Foods Witch, with How to Live the Life of an Outsider and Enjoy It!

Monday, December 28th: Victoria Brouhard of Creating Your Entrepreneurial Life, with On Picking Your Friends.

Wednesday, December 30th: Johnny B. Truant, Making the Internet (and our blog) Awesome with How I’m learning to break the rules.

Kicking off the new year on Friday, January 01: Bob Poole, coming at you from the Water Cooler Hangout, with Happy New Year!

Monday, January 04th: Hayden Tompkins of Through the Illusion, with Here There Be Awesome.

Wednesday, January 06th: Leah Shapiro of Defy the Box, with Where the Juicy Goodness Lies.

And wrapping up the Extravaganza, the incredible Rudi Whitmore, sister of our very own evil illustrator, with Kindness goes to the dogs.

Seriously, I almost wish I was going to be around to read all this incredible stuff.

Except, you know, Ireland. Yeah.

Play nice while we’re gone, darlings, and enjoy all the goodies! See you in the new year! Read the rest of this entry »

Today’s the last day for 52 Weeks to Awesome early bird registration!

Click here to see more about the course, including all the neat stuff early birds get.

52 Weeks to Awesome in the news

Several people have interviewed us via email about 52 Weeks to Awesome, and we also did a fun phone interview with Johnny B. Truant, wherein he asked us lots of science-y questions about how exactly we define awesome and how you can measure whether you succeed in becoming awesome. It’s neat, go listen! (:

Our Second Book

After the success of The Usual Error, we immediately started thinking about writing a second book.  We already knew exactly what we wanted to write about, and we even had a working title: How to Be Awesome.

But then, we noticed something important.  Even though the book form of The Usual Error helped a lot of people improve their communication and their relationships, our Usual Error workshops helped even more.  We got far more "this changed my life" feedback from workshop attendees than we did from book readers.

That got us thinking.  Even with all the learning modalities in The Usual Error book, the one that a book can’t cover very well is learning by doing.  It’s easy to consume a book passively, never getting up out of your chair.  With a workshop, especially a live, in-person workshop, it’s much easier to get people active and engaged.  However, you can only interact with a few people at a time at a workshop, and there are a lot of logistics involved in traveling around to various cities around the world.

How could we combine the best of both worlds?

That’s when we decided to morph How to Be Awesome (the book) into 52 Weeks to Awesome (the e-course).  We cover the same material we would have written in the book, but we focus more on engaging you so that you’re not just reading passively.  It’s an interestingly different style of writing, and we’re confident that it will be more effective in doing what it’s meant to do, which is helping you live a more awesome life.

Click here to see how it turned out!  (Remember, today’s the very last day for early bird registration.)

I like to let you know when we’ve reached the end of a series, so ta-da! We’ve reached the end of the Wedding Wednesday series. Before we move on to Honeymoon Hump-Days (oy, I need a better title for that), we’ve got a surprise in store for the next few weeks!

But even before that, I wanted to give specific thanks to everyone who made our wedding into the unforgettable faerytale day that it was.

Heather: we would have totally fallen apart without your help, omg. Unbelievable. You did so much for us and kept us going and really made everything happen while keeping us as unstressed as possible. And you provided us with a safe and gorgeous get-away for the hours between reception and evening. Rose petals, omg!

Megan: Liveblogging! Your awesome skillz at typing while listening allowed everyone who wasn’t there to get to be there vicariously.

Kelan: you fed us with flare, you gave the most beautiful, heartwrenching speech, you were amazingly helpful all weekend, and you were so sweet and excited all weekend long (and months beforehand!). Also, you provided the only thing I managed to eat at the reception: a pineapple flower. (:

Ira: you showed up and dug in and helped a huge ton without ever being asked, and wound up being Heather’s right hand man. And you wore that stripy shirt just for me!

Lynnivere: you whisked me away and kept me from being alone the night before, and were a strong grounding force the day of, and held space for the one who couldn’t stay.

Sam and Michael: you provided so much amazing food! Everyone raved about how delicious everything was.

Tanya: you helped a ton during the process, were always excited about it, and kept reminding me how awesome it was going to be.

Kira: your circle casting created the perfect sacred space for us.

Warren: you perfectly executed our soundtrack.

Nathan: you made our ceremony perfect. Perfect.

Christi: you made our flowers! They were stunningly gorgeous! You also kept me sane by being on-call for me the week ramping up. For months, you were always excited about the big day which kept me excited instead of panicked – and you reminded me to breathe. You also provided both our flower girls! (;

Amanda: omg, cupcakes, holy crap. You pretty much made them and decorated them on your own, and all with a newborn baby (you had some help, I know, but you certainly wrangled and managed your helpers). You also helped us both stay sane and made me feel special and helped me with a crisis the night before the wedding – and I could relax, knowing you were on top of things for the day for Pace.

Our wedding was exactly what we both wanted – a community event, where we were surrounded by family and friends. We were both blown away by all the love and support we received.

We have so much gratitude in our hearts for everyone involved – those named and those unnamed. Long will our memories be full of your faces, your kindnesses, and your love.

The How to Be Awesome teleclass is today!

Yay!  Our free 52-minute teleclass is today (Monday, December 14th) at 1pm Central time.

Join us for the fun by calling 785-686-3854 and entering this code: 690957#

Don’t forget the pound sign.  (Also known as an octothorpe, which is a simply fabulous word.)

Here’s a handy-dandy time zone converter so you can be sure to call in while the party’s actually happening. (:

There’s so much to say about how to be awesome, all we’ll have time for in this teleclass are the basics. It’s cool — even the basics will be enough to set you on a path of awesomeness. Of course, you have to want to be awesome first. Our job is showing you how you can make it happen, not kicking you in the pants.

We’ll even leave time for Q&A, in case anyone has questions about 52 Weeks to Awesome or personal growth in general.

What we’ll talk about: The basics of how to be awesome. This teleclass is sort of a summary of 52 Weeks to Awesome, so if you’re curious to know more about what we’ll cover, click here to find out more about the 52 Weeks to Awesome course, and imagine that the teleclass is a mini-version of the course inside a snow globe. And on the phone.

Hope to see (or hear) you there! (:

52 Weeks to Awesome goes on sale today!

This week only, we have a nice discount and some special offers for you if you pre-register for 52 Weeks to Awesome.

• A nice discount: The first three months of 52 Weeks to Awesome free.  The usual price is $52 (just $1 per week) but for early birds, it’s only $39.
• A special offer: We’re taking on a limited number of apprentices for 2010, and not taking on any more until 2011.
• Bonuses: 4 extra bonus missions for early birds only.

These go away after Thursday of this week, so take a look for more information.  And hoo boy, we’ve got a butt-ton of information for you, including exactly what the course will consist of, how it will work, all the extra goodies we’re throwing in, and the complete list of all 52 missions.

Click here and see for yourself! (:

A few weeks ago, two of my good friends were talking. One of them said something about ancient Jewish menstrual huts.

I, being naive (and obviously not Jewish), said, “Oooh! I want a menstrual hut!” My mind filled with visions of a hot tub, soft blue curtains, bowls heaped with chocolate, someone available to make meals for me, pain relievers, a massage therapist on hand, quiet soothing music, and no annoying people whatsoever.

Heh. Little did I know.

I was about as far off as one can get and still be in some realm of reality. Actual “menstrual huts” were isolated tents with no comforts whatsoever where women on their periods were forced to go until they stopped being too unclean to touch.

Yeah.

I’d like to go back to my reality, thanks muchly.

In “The Body Sacred”, there’s almost a whole chapter on menses and our varied (and typically negative) reaction to our bodies and their cycles. It’s not just men who hate, fear, and misunderstand the menstrual cycle – we do it nearly as often.

I’m guilty of it myself. I used to hate getting my period. I would dread it beforehand and bemoan my sorry fate during. I would whine and complain. I would rejoice when my cycles were wonky and irregular because it meant I wouldn’t have a period every month.

This, while a fairly common reaction, isn’t fair to my body.

The menstrual cycle is nothing short of miraculous. It’s a shared experience that could bring us connection and community instead of even further isolating us – all we have to do is stop not talking about it.

Women of all ages and experiences have something to share in this: pre-menstrual girls would benefit from knowledge of what lies ahead and the gift of being able to talk freely about our bodies, menstrual women could share in their varied experiences, pregnant woman need community more when pregnant and during birth and with a newborn than ever, menopausal woman could share experiences on what’s to come and share the wisdom that comes with age, and women without cycles would benefit from sharing their own experiences as well as sharing in those of others. Even our men would benefit from sharing in our bodily processes; gaining understanding and respect and admiration for what our bodies do and can handle would bring them closer to the women in their lives.

Instead of being ashamed or embarrassed, relishing in the miracles of our bodies and sharing in our experiences brings us together. It makes us stronger. It reminds us that we truly are sacred, in all our messy wacky ways.

So now I’m seriously considering building my vision of a Menstrual Hut, or at least starting up a women’s circle where we could take turns pampering and supporting each other – building community and honoring our selves and our bodies.