I just finished reading my copy of Pamela Slim’s Escape from Cubicle Nation, and I’m excited to share my review with you!

Here goes.

Wow, Pam Slim has really got her work cut out for her. How do you get everything you need to know about quitting your corporate job and starting your own business into one book? You can’t, of course. Luckily, that is not what Escape from Cubicle Nation attempts to do.

What it does do is provide a wonderful overview of everything you need to know. Pam doesn’t delve deep into every area of entrepreneurship (I admit to feeling intimidated when she rattled off the list “sales, costs, expenses, taxes, interest, profitability, assets, liabilities, capital…” without explaining them) but it’s okay, because she does give you signposts for where to learn more about the pieces you’re not comfortable with.

Let’s jump right in to the page-by-page comments. Here are my thoughts on each of the pages I dog-eared while reading.

p.17 It’s not the life we were meant for

Pam peppers the book with excellent and inspiring quotations. I loved this one, from Paul Graham, in “You Aren’t Meant to Have a Boss“:

“I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of animals in the wild that I’d only seen in zoos before. It was remarkable how different they seemed. Particularly lions. Lions in the wild seem about ten times more alive. They’re like different animals. I suspect that working for oneself feels better to humans in much the same way that living in the wild must feel better to a wide-ranging predator like a lion. Life in a zoo is easier, but it isn’t the life we were designed for.”

This speaks to me on a deep heart and soul level. Not just corporate jobs, or jobs in general, but a lot of things about the world today.

p.25 Becky

Hey! I know who Becky is! That’s not just any Becky, that’s my friend Becky. (:

p.77 What to do when you flip out and go into a downward spiral of doom

Pam’s advice:

1. Immediately call someone you trust and ask for encouragement. (In a later chapter she talks about how to make friends with awesome people so that you can have someone trustworthy to call.)
2. Get physically out of the situation. Changing your environment can help break you out of the cycle.
3. Pull out a folder of things that remind you of your worth.

This is so cool! Kyeli and I were talking about this just last week. We created a “motivation” folder full of people telling us how much they liked our book, how much we’ve helped them in their relationships, and all sorts of other things. We’re planning on putting some of it on our wall, but having a folder for it is another excellent idea.

p.83 Choosing between a crack pipe and wheatgrass juice

Pam’s “crack pipe” story spoke to me deeply. Kyeli and I were in the middle of intense discussions about reworking our entire business, and we were both very scared. After reading Pam’s story, it’s crystal clear. We were afraid of the crack pipe!

Wait, I just realized that this won’t make any sense to anyone who doesn’t already know what I’m talking about. The “crack pipe” is Pam’s metaphor for a fast-paced, high-test, stereotypically “successful” business life. It’s the temptation of fame and gold stars. Pam writes, “I realized I was meant to be at home writing blog posts, changing diapers, and slowly chipping away at my dream business. I told the client no, tossed the crack pipe in the trash, and took a big swig of wheatgrass juice.”

Go, Pam!

p.84 Depleted vs. spent

Yes! This puts words to something I’ve been trying to put my finger on for years. Sometimes I feel exhausted but good, and sometimes I feel exhausted and bad. Pam explains it perfectly as the difference between depleted and spent.

Depleted is when you exhaust yourself by doing things you don’t really want to do. Spent is when you exhaust yourself by doing things you do really want to do. It’s how you feel after a really good workout that you enjoyed, or after a really intense conversation that ended up at a happy conclusion. Now that I have words for these two different states, I feel like I understand them much better. Thanks, Pam. (:

p.99 Yay, the E-Myth!

I’m so glad Pam mentioned the E-Myth. The E-Myth (the Entrepreneurial Myth) is that if you’re starting your own business so you can do more technical work, or do it your own way, then you’re setting yourself up to fail. If you don’t enjoy the business aspect of business, then you won’t enjoy owning your own business, because there is a lot of business in business.

p.101 quoting Jonathan Fields, Awake at the Wheel

“Find something you’re madly passionate about, surround yourself with people you love to be around, work your buns off and make a ton of money… as a byproduct of the fact that you’re having the time of your life and contributing value to the world along the way!”

YEAH! *jumps up and down*

p.154 Do You Really Need a Big House in the City?

OMG! We could move somewhere else, maybe even somewhere we could be legally married, and save TONS of money! For some reason I never seriously considered this option. But it’s a super important thing to think about, at the very least as a backup plan.

This chapter is chock full of concrete ideas for how to reduce your expenses without changing your money mindset to “scarcity” instead of “abundance”.

p.188 Don’t badmouth your competitors

Earlier on the very day I read this chapter, Kyeli and I were talking about the exact same thing. We saw a billboard that we interpreted as a passive-aggressive swipe at the company’s competitors, and launched into a tirade about what bad marketing it is to badmouth your competitors.

p.200 Juan, the Gang Member Coach

I love this bit. It made me laugh out loud when I read it the first time, and I’m laughing again as I write about it. Pam talks about unlearning corporate jargon-speak, because it will completely alienate real-world customers. She suggests envisioning giving your speech (or reading your web copy) to a gang member, because a gang member won’t put up with any bullshit or wishy-washy words. Here’s a quote from the book:

Joe, VP of Alliance Partnerships: “And as you can see from my deck, by creating a strategic partnership that focuses on key enablers of the new paradigm, we can leverage out-of-the-box thinking and deliver an integrated solution to our end-users.”

Juan, the Gang Member Coach: “Joe, what the f**k are you talking about?”

LOL!

p.210 Perfectionists are Losers

It’s easy to plan, wait, and prepare until everything is perfect. But in the real world, it works much better to get something out there, anything, then tweak and improve it based on feedback from your customers. As Seth Godin says, “Fire. Aim. Aim. Aim.” In fact, my friend Erica said the exact same thing recently.

p.250 Dealing with critical comments

Pam once received a comment that said,

“I would love [this site] if only the privileged would acknowledge how lucky and privileged they are and how their ‘advice’ applies to only other privileged kids.”

Pam writes, “I tried to carry on a conversation with the commenter, but nothing I could say would satisfy him — in his mind I was a rich jerk and nothing could change that.”

Wow. Once I received a comment exactly like that one. It really tore me up at the time, but I think Pam is right; the best solution is to ignore it and move on.

p.253 How to Shop for Benefits

Awesome chapter, Pam. This is something I’ve been putting off, and now we have a place to start. Thanks!

p.275 Different communication styles

Cool! Pam talks about different commmunication styles, a topic near and dear to our hearts. (: In this context, she’s talking about how to explain your business to skeptical friends and family. I give Pam’s communication advice a gold star. (:

p.279 Some relationships will not survive your transition from employee to entrepreneur.

Pam shares advice on to make this difficult process less painful, and ways to tell whether it’s the right decision. This particular issue has been a rocky one for me. Lots of my non-entrepreneur friends don’t get it, and their skepticism drains my passion and enthusiasm for our business. I’ve started being more selective about who I talk about our business with, and that’s been helping, although now the problem is that I have so few people to talk about our business with that I’m often bursting at the seams with excitement!

p.281 More good communication advice

Pam talks about how to bring up the “I want to quit my cushy corporate job and start my own business” conversation with your spouse. She talks about:

• choosing a low-stress moment
• choosing a calm and non-distracting environment
• really listening to your spouse’s concerns
• reciprocation
• making a plan to continue the conversation
• not via phone or email

and several other tidbits of good communication advice. Another gold star!

Here’s my own two cents of communication advice to piggyback on Pam’s:

• not when either of you is hungry or sleepy
• use “I” statements
• one or both of you might want to check in with each other, especially if things get tense.

pp.310-317 OMG, these checklists are ridiculously useful.

OMG, these checklists are ridiculously useful. Even though we’ve already started our business, it looks like there are some important steps we skipped. I want to say more here but I’d end up saying “OMG, these checklists are ridiculously useful” over and over again.

p.319 Now comes the first part where I actually cry. (I’m not counting tears welling up. I lost count of those.)

“Will I be a better, smarter, more compassionate human being for having attempted this, regardless of the outcome?”

p.320 The grand finale, where I bawl my eyes out.

Slow down and read this bit out loud. It’s very powerful.

“Now you are here, peering over the edge.

This is it.

No amount of data, checklists, spreadsheets, focus groups, analysis, or information is going to tell you if it is the right time to quit your job.

It is a leap of faith. You can choose to take it or not.

If you choose to leap, congratulations. Welcome to the other side. I have been waiting for you.

If you choose to stay, I support you. When you are ready, I will still be here.”

Holy shit, Pam. What an amazing book.

If you’re reading this, and you wonder what it might be like to quit your job and start your own business, or if you’re a recent entrepreneur and you want to feel more of the fire that inspired you to choose this path, then I highly recommend this book.

Here’s a link. Escape from Cubicle Nation

Being an entrepreneur is like being transgendered.

No, seriously. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about here. (:

First, you need to think really hard about what you want.

Becoming a new gender? Becoming a new business owner? First you’d better be sure that you’re following your heart. Search deep inside to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.

Once you know what you want, you’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it.

There are lots of obstacles to both entrepreneurs and transgendered people, especially low-income transgendered people. But when you know what you want and are passionate about achieving it, you’ll do your best to overcome each and every one of those obstacles.

You’ll need to become good at learning new things.

Estradiol. Progesterone. How your body will change. The thrice-bedamned Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. How to find a good therapist. Surgery. How to come out to friends and family. How to come out at work. How to come out to someone you’re interested in dating (or are already dating). Clothes. Makeup. You can talk in the restroom now! Eye contact. Speech patterns. How to change your voice. How to change your body language. Sex. Orgasm. Social gender roles. How to be a lesbian. How to date women as a woman. How to be bisexual. How to date men as a woman.

Accounting. Distribution. Fulfillment. Marketing. Permission marketing. Tax law. How to incorporate. Social networking. Blogging. Podcasting. Vidcasting. Skype. Pricing. SEO. Web design. Wordpress plugins. Marketing copy. How to tell people about awesome stuff without being annoying. How to make friends with awesome people without being annoying. How to ask for help. Self-publishing. Business planning. E-commerce. Credit card machines. Referral/partner programs. How to find a good venue.

You will recreate yourself, and it will be painful.

When I transitioned from male to female, I created a new social persona for myself, one that better fit my internal self-concept. My friends and family had gotten used to interacting with Boy Pace for 20-odd years. When I became Girl Pace, I changed in many ways, although in many ways I stayed the same. Everyone’s social expectations were flummoxed because I no longer fit into the same social role. It was uncomfortable and awkward, both for me and for everyone else. I would sometimes spend less time with my friends who had a hard time adjusting, to avoid having my feelings hurt due to male pronouns, social awkwardness, and feeling misunderstood. This shift was difficult and painful. I spent more time with some of my new friends who hadn’t met me before I transitioned, because I didn’t have to deal with their old, stale expectations. Also I hung out with several other trans people because we were interested in talking about similar things.

Becoming an entrepreneur was surprisingly similar. I created a new social persona for myself, one that better fit my internal self-concept. In this case, my self-concept shifted from “a smart, creative computer geek” to “a passionate, effective lightworker who turns her dreams into reality.” My friends and business associates had gotten used to interacting with Geek Pace for almost 30 years. When I became Lightworker Pace, I changed in many ways, although in many ways I stayed the same. Everyone’s expectations were flummoxed because I no longer fit into the same role. It was uncomfortable and awkward. I would sometimes spend less time with my friends who had a hard time adjusting, to avoid becoming demotivated or depressed by negativity, because we shared fewer common interests, and because I felt misunderstood. This shift was difficult and painful. I spent more time with some of my new friends who hadn’t met me when I was Geek Pace, because I had more in common with them and we were interested in talking about similar things. More of my new friends were also entrepreneurs and lightworkers, whereas my old friends were living lives more like Geek Pace’s life that I had joyously left behind.

You will face your fears.

What if I turn out to be an ugly girl? What if my family disowns me? What if I don’t have what it takes to make this happen? What if I can’t do it because I don’t have enough money? What if I go broke? What if all my friends hate me? What if I lose my job? What if I lose the respect of my friends and peers? What if someone uses male pronouns for me in front of everyone? What if they laugh at me? What if I look ridiculous? What if they see through me and realize that I’m terrified? What if I lose my true self in a jumble of newly practiced body language and speech patterns? What if my voice is too deep? What if no one will want to date me? What if no one will accept me as I am? What if no one will love me?

What if no one wants to buy what we’re selling? What if no one finds our services valuable? What if no one cares? What if I don’t have what it takes to make this happen? What if I go broke? What if I get a lot of flak and negative comments? What if someone criticizes me in front of everyone? What if they laugh at me? What if they see through me and realize that I’m terrified? What if I lose my true self in a jumble of dollar signs and business plans? What if I lose my friends because I accidentally turn them into networking acquaintances? What if I burn out due to overwork? What if I fail because I don’t work hard enough? What if no one likes what I have to offer? What if no one likes me?

You will fail without self-knowledge and inner strength.

These fears will eat you alive if you let them. The only way to succeed is to truly know yourself — to grow into a person who is knowledgeable and self-confident enough to be able to handle those fears. Let your fears inform you, thank your fears for guiding you to a touchy spot, and then dig in. Figure out what the root cause of your fear is, and then use that as fertilizer for personal growth. Grow bigger than your fears. Embiggen and destuckify! (:

Entrepreneurship and gender transition are crash courses in fear-facing. Your issues will come up. Your landmines will be stepped on. Your triggers will be triggered. Each of these disasters is an opportunity for growth. (“Another fucking opportunity for growth”, as my friend Reesa says.) If you can maintain a positive attitude even through the toughest challenges, if each time you fall down you learn a little more about how to get back up, then your self-work will eventually manifest in outward success.

I wish you the best on your path of becoming.

WOOT! I just bought Marty another birthday present: a super-awesome shirt from 200 Nipples! (Shh! Don’t tell him! He doesn’t read the internet.) And get this: I bought it for two frickin’ dollars! The $2 box was yellow, but I refreshed the instance it expired, and snagged it before anyone else could! It was really exciting!

I really love 200 Nipples. They’re a great example of excellent marketing and excellent business practices. They’re friendly and fun — check out their FAQ, it’s hilarious! They have a great concept, they market it amazingly well, their product is of high quality, and their execution is flawless. Their customer service is also excellent; they offer a money-back guarantee, and they respond to emails very promptly.

It’s amazing what three clever entrepreneurs can do. I’d love to patronize more businesses like 200 Nipples!