Whenever I wrote an online profile, I used to introduce myself with:

Hi! I’m Pace. I’m a bi poly kinky pagan gamer geek.

Now I say:

Hi! I’m Pace. I’m a spiritual idealist entrepreneur.

I’m still bi, I’m still poly, I’m still kinky, I’m still pagan(ish), I’m still a gamer, and I’m a geek. I still identify with each and every one of those labels.

So why the change?

It’s because of marketing. And since marketing is communication, it’s about communication.

The point of communication is to successfully convey what you want to convey. What you intend to convey doesn’t matter as much as the actual result of your communication — what the other person ends up understanding.

What does this have to do with your online profile, Pace?

How you identify doesn’t matter as much as the actual result of what you write about yourself. What kind of people will it resonate with? What will the outcome be?

In my case, I already have oodles of cool friends who are bi poly kinky pagan gamer geeks. When you co-lead the Freak Revolution, you can expect that. (: But I don’t have many friends who are spiritual idealist entrepreneurs, especially not in Austin. So that’s what I want to focus on.

Of course, honesty is paramount. If people feel baited and switched (regardless of whether you intended to bait and switch them), no one wins. But even among the true stories, there are millions of different true stories you can tell about yourself. Each of them will resonate differently with different people.

What story do you want to tell?

Wait, this isn’t just about online profiles?

Can you see how this applies to everything?

• Your website
• Your blog
• Your business
• How you dress
• What you talk about on a first date
• How and where you spend your money
• How and where you spend your time
• How you live your life

In everything you do, you tell a story. Sometimes with words, sometimes with actions. Usually, we think self-consciously, “What does this story say about me?”

Today, I want you to think about this question instead:

What outcome will result from this story?

Kyeli in front of a teeth whitening kiosk at the mall

Teeth whitening, I thought to myself. Isn’t that something usually done in a clean, sterile dentist’s office, not a kiosk in the middle of a crowded mall?

I don’t care how much it costs. I don’t care how white these smiling people’s teeth are. I want to hear from the trustworthy dentist who says this is safe, clean, sterile, and professional. I want to see a picture of a dentist saying that this setup is just as good, just as safe, and just as professional as her setup at the office. Then I want to look up and see that same dentist on site, taking care of her patients.

When Havi was looking for an acupuncturist, none of their websites answered one of her big questions: “Will I have to take my clothes off?”

I don’t care if it’s fast, effective, and affordable. I want to know if it’s safe.

The marketing folks likely made the usual error. The question “Is it safe?” didn’t enter their minds, so they didn’t address it in the marketing for their teeth whitening kiosk. Heck, I may be making the usual error too. I may be the only one who would think about that, and so it’s not worth it for the marketers to cater to me if I’m just one person. To me, it feels like you’d be doing a medical procedure in the middle of a mall, which seems like a bad idea. Maybe most people think of it more like a teeth cleaning or brushing than a medical procedure.

My point is that it’s important to know your audience. This applies to everyone, not just marketers. If you’re having a conversation with your partner, if you’re in a meeting with your boss, if you’re talking with a friend — they have different concerns than you do. They’re coming from a different place. They care about different things. They’ll react differently than you would in the same situation.

Put yourself in their shoes. It will go a long way toward avoiding the usual error and fostering clear and effective communication.

Recently, Kyeli was upset because her installation of AVG told her that she had to upgrade to a pay version or else she wouldn’t be allowed to use her free version anymore. She was angry, and felt like she had been betrayed by AVG. It turned out to be a false alarm, but some of the hurt feelings persisted.

The same thing would have happened even if AVG had had a disclaimer on their site for years, saying “We are giving this away for free, but as of July 2008 we will begin charging.” Enough users wouldn’t read it, wouldn’t know about it, or would forget about it, that their feelings would still be hurt.

Kind of like the Zero/One/Infinity rule, there’s a big difference between free and non-free. People are far more likely to be upset by a change from free to pay than by a price increase. This is something we’re currently talking about a lot for The Usual Error. We want to give a lot of the material away for free via lots of media, and we also want to make The Usual Error be our career. And so we may end up charging some nominal amount for certain products or services that we might have otherwise given away for free, just to avoid the AVG Effect.